ON THE INDEXING PROCESS, BORING MINIONS, AND A GOOD ENOUGH LAWYER
Thursday May 20 and Friday May 21 2021
Dear Sarah,
Earlier this afternoon I was making notes for my letter to you, thinking that I had all the time in the world to write it, that I was way ahead of the game. But today is Thursday! I think that I briefly thought it was Wednesday and that I had until tomorrow night to send my letter to you. Even though I have periodically sent my letters to you late on a Friday night when you are going to post, after all these weeks I am trying to get away from that practice as a lasting form of the norm!
I loved your description in last week’s letter of your human reboot process, I loved to see you in my mind’s eye wrapped in a blanket in your office! The early morning hours before others are awake are so special. You have the world to yourself, your mind is quiet, the world is quiet.
Now I am debating with myself over whether morning writing in a sleepy state is definitively better than evening writing. I wanted to say so, but I think I’ve had some evening writing sessions that approximate the good qualities of a morning session — a loose brain is the requirement! Sometimes an evening-tired head can be the right kind of loose for writing... but sometimes it’s just done. Evening brain isn’t to be counted on, while morning brain is opening up to the possibilities of the day. Morning brain might not be your most awake brain, but it is your brain emerging from its mysterious sleep-space, not yet fixated on logic or to-do lists. Sometimes when I wake early, before the alarm, I’ll remember a dream from which I’m emerging and I’ll write a short paragraph about it in my daily journal-diary-doc. Then later when I check to see if I’ve yet added anything for the day, I’ll find those dream-wisps waiting for me, otherwise forgotten. No need to capture every moment or essence — they’re still embodied for having occurred — I’m thinking now about Sarah Manguso and her consuming diary — but I like to find those moments that I have captured. Some dreams captured, some dreams sent back upon the wind from whence they came.
I have been lax on reading newsletters lately but I was up early-ish today; it is a cozy rainy morning; and over my hot tea I perused Austin Kleon’s weekly newsletter. I am feeling inspired by his post about indexing, filing systems, and the art of finding what you have. (Also feeling sympathetic for Austin and his crate of notebooks, the contents of which he did not organize as he went.) I appreciated the discussion of just how much time it can take to index everything — apparently Ralph Waldo Emerson “kept elaborate notebooks just for indexing his other notebooks.” Sometimes it’s invigorating to hear that people spend (spent) time doing these things that are so laborious. We have improved ways of sorting and finding digital information these days, but the indexing process is valuable for shaping the transition from analog writing and note-taking into digital, for simply organizing the digital, and as a creative process in itself.
I am a fan of the poet Zachary Schomburg, whose first book of poetry The Man Suit I randomly happened upon in a library in San Francisco many years ago. He’s one of my favorite poets and I recently acquired his latest collection, Fjords Vol. 2, and I was reminded that Zachary is a good indexer; his indexes are like poems themselves. His work is a model for indexing. I know I’ve read others writing on or interviewing Zachary and discussing his indexes, and I just searched for a few, and came across this post from 2013 by Heather Christle — whose book The Crying Book I finally read recently after requesting it from the library ages ago (perhaps everyone wanted to read The Crying Book? Or some few people kept renewing it in their book collections the way I do?) — and I’m further inspired. (Now I’m also curious to check out Alberto Manguel's A History of Reading; I intended to read The Library at Night many years ago and did not, and am also reminded that I wanted to read his Packing My Library. Lots to read on reading and libraries!)
I think an indexing system or process is the next frontier in my own work; I have a lot of loose stuff in handwritten pages, notebooks, google docs, text docs, scraps of paper. I periodically have flashes of insight about organizational possibilities in the form of outlines for works that would bring together the threads of my stories and thoughts… and then I sometimes forget to put the outline somewhere that it could actually be useful to me! Buried in another stack of papers. Perhaps an indexing project will be a part of my summer project(s) plan. Of course summer can only hold so much, and I want to be out in the sunshine for a good part of it, this year in particular, but I also think it may be a mellow summer work-wise (this is my goal!) and I’d like to make it happen.
Also of note in Austin’s post: an introduction to Phyllis Diller’s gag file and Joan Rivers’s joke bank. Rivers’s bank now holds over a million jokes in a card cabinet in her apartment. I love the idea of this level of indexing; a comedian especially must have to do something like this to keep all her pieces of work organized, jokes being a sort of miniature form in their actual word-shapes. I also love the process of labeling files, determining what those index categories will be. In the general realm of filing (work, life business, miscellany) I am good at creating hierarchical taxonomies, finding ways to group things so I can get them out of the loose scrappy realm and into some form of collection. But I have not carried this practice over to the things I write that are not professional-work-related. Time to get organized!
We’re moments away from actual summer and it’s feeling summery over here these days! I hope you have a lovely weekend as we slide toward Memorial Day! Looking forward to reading your words later today!
Until soon!
Eva
May 21, 2021
Dear Eva,
I am counterintuitively cranky as I start this letter midday on my day off. Please know that I am not cranky about writing this letter! Just feeling a tad grumpy about how much this day has already been whittled away with miscellaneous tasks and errands that were, each one, perfectly pleasant and reasonable, but together form an affront on my dreams of how this Friday with childcare and no work obligations would be spent. I realize I am often overly protective of my alone time and that instinct is what is manifesting here. All told, it probably adds up to me having too many demands on my time, or at least that those myriad demands do not nicely correlate to my own priorities about how I want to spend my hours. This is not where I thought I was going with this line of thought on the page, but I actually think it segues nicely to my recent embrace of a new way of characterizing who I am and what I do. Inspired again by Beth Pickens, I have started thinking about just needing to be a “good enough” lawyer. It feels naughty to even put this in writing! But the concept is liberating to me. And it accurately reflects my priorities in life—I am a mom/wife/friend/human first, then an artist (there, I said it!), and a good enough lawyer to pay the bills. Linking this back to the aforementioned demands on my time, this framing helps me put those demands in their rightful order.
Right now, I’m reading a book called Sound Machine by a writer named Rachel Zucker. Perhaps similar to the authors you mentioned recently with unusual, fragmented writing styles, Zucker writes in a patchy, poetic way that I am eating up. It can be so transformative to be presented with other ways of writing, or for that matter, other ways of being. As I drove around on my sundry tasks this morning, I listened to a podcast interview with Patricia Lockwood. I can certainly see why you would be her groupie! She strikes me as one of those generative humans who, by simply being herself in this world, opens new doors of possibility for people like you or me. I will add that you, Eva Rogers, are one of those people yourself! The older I get, the more drawn I am to people who choose to eschew certain societal expectations and make up their own way of being. Minions are boring. But sheesh, there are so many ways in which the forces of social pressure pull and push us—in our career choices, our adherence to etiquette, more.
In the course of writing these first paragraphs of my letter, the clouds have parted and the sun is shining down for the first time in nearly one week. This sunny glow is most welcome! These repetitive cloudy and rainy days have made me realize I may not be cut out for Vancouver life. This realization is unlikely to have much practical effect, but it is at least altering one of my fictional futures where Bill and I flee to Canada. As the legislative session in this abhorrently conservative state comes to a close, it feels more important than ever to have our flight plans at the ready.
You had a shocking social calendar last week! I am curious to hear whether this caused a kind of social hangover. I felt tired reading about it! Speaking of being tired just thinking about something, I am scheduled to go on a 48-mile bike ride tomorrow. That will be a lifetime record for me, and I will admit there is a small part of me that would not be sad if it ends up raining again tomorrow and ruining this plan. But the more noble part of me is looking forward to it, especially the part(s) where we stop for a beer and grub along the way. (Ha! Is that noble?)
Early in the week, my world was shaken by the news that WNYC had fired Bob Garfield, one of two hosts of a weekly podcast I have listened to religiously for at least 15 years. Garfield was fired for allegedly violating a corporate anti-bullying policy. I have never been drawn to Garfield and in fact, often felt a little pang of disappointment whenever the show started with “Brooke Gladstone is away this week,” but nonetheless, it was startling to hear this audio fixture in my life was going to change. I depend upon that weekly show! For so many years, it has helped me make sense of the world. Thankfully, it sounds like Brooke Gladstone is taking the helm and plans to continue the show, and I am so relieved that I do not yet have to learn to live without it. Someday I should write Brooke Gladstone and let her know just what an impact she has and has had on little ole me in the middle of Iowa. I have written her an email many times in my head, but I’m guessing she has not received that message.
It is now mid-afternoon, and I am feeling significantly more cheery! I think I will take a trip over to the local bookstore where a pre-ordered book is waiting for me. I imagine there are other books waiting for me on the shelves, too, though they may not know it yet! There is nothing like a leisurely visit to a good bookstore to make a day off feel like a day off, so I am going to bring this letter to a close and head that way. I look forward to reading your words when I return!
Have a wonderful weekend!
Your friend,
Sarah